Upward and Onward Again!

Its a wondrous thing, when the LIGHT flashes in, to the places inside my head.

Where the cob webs they grow and the shadows they show, and misery knows no end.

From the depths of dis pare, were there seems that nowhere, in this world there's place for my kind.

I reach to that LIGHT and with all my might, climb upward and onward, press on!

Its a Wondrous thing, were I once was within and now I can roam in the sun.

For the dark clouds have gone, and the lights are all on, and I'm upward and onward again!

The draw-bridge and the brain...

Ive been sitting here wandering how to explain to you how my brain works. (For those of you who don't understand the, outstandingly wonderful, ADD brain/person).

And while I was sitting, thinking,

I had a picture.

Which is usually the way we, ADDers, think.
In pictures/movies inside our head.

The only way I can explain it (today) is.... here goes... you ready?

OK....
Imagine a beautiful river, boats and ships going up and down. The hustle and bustle of a busy and exciting world going on, on either side of the river. "Oh look! Theres a bridge!" Yes, its a big one, not one of those quaint stone ones you see people wandering over, in movies. Its a huge big drawer-bridge.
(A connection from the one side of the city to the other.)

Now,
I was thinking I would like to take a drive over that bridge to see the ship that is coming in to the harbor, because the harbour is on the other side of the river to which I am. Let us drive over the bridge.... oh dear, we have to wait for the bridge, its opening for the ship to go through....

Now here's where I need you to think 'laterally', OK?

Imagine the city, on either side of the river, being my brain. Now imagine the river being my thoughts.
Wonderful, flowing and spaRkLeY.
And the boats and ships etc, are these awesome ideas that come and go, up and down the river.
So, here comes a great, creative, ORIGINAL idea

(the boat I spoke about earlier)

now I want to 'explore' that idea ~ bring it to execution/fruition.

But I have to cross the bridge to do so, but I cant until the bridge is down again. But if I wait too long, another idea will come along and that one may be better than the first one and I may just need to 'explore' that one too... so what do I do?

Well, I could try and jump the bridge. If I do that, I will inevitably 'drown' in the river (thoughts/ideas), having to focus on (something new) ~ survival! And by the time I would have survived the ordeal, the ship would have left the harbour, or I would need to go home and change and then it would be late and there would be things to do at home and so I would miss out on that opportunity.

Now I can hear you saying, "just wait until the bridge lowers. Just ignore the other vessels going past!" I have an answer to that.... I do! It was on the tip of my tongue... and now its gone!!!

So, hang in there, I will get back to you. Have a stroll along the waters edge, there's a great coffee place just down there...... I will be back.

P.S. I cant seem to find the blasted spell check on this thing. So you will have to excuse my 'imperfections' ~ it doesn't happen often!

Strangly painfull & disgusting, at the same time!

My youngest son, Cole, is hysterical at times... At almost 10 years old, he is a comIcAL genius ~ and he doesn't even try (or know it, for that matter!) He was lazing in my study, this morning. Kinda half sitting, half lying on the chair (as kids tend to do) 'liaising' with SPUD,
our Jack Russell TERRORIST. Cole lent forward, coming eye-to-eye with the brick-size canine & calmly said, "Come here Spuddy, come n lick my eyeball..." to which, the very obedient (NOT) dog, did as he was told! For a change! With that, Cole leaped up & proclaimed,
" WOW, that was strangely painful and disgusting at the same time!!"
"Sons are a heritage from the LORD, children a reward from Him."
Psalm 127v3

Uniquely ADD

Being school holidays. I usually like to take advantage of the fact that there is no pressing need to rise too early from by 'beauty' sleep. Apart from getting up to make my wonderful hubby tea and farewell him into the rat-race. I normally (and I use that word normally, loosely, because, as you may begin to see a pattern relating to me ~ there is NOTHING normal about me! And if you ever happen to find out anything 'normal' about me, please do let me know, then burn all evidence immediately!)

Anyway, as I was saying when I was rudely interrupted by one of my many 'rabbit-trails'.. And I refer to 'rabbit-TRAILS' here. Not, the ever present 'rabbit-TAILS', which are of the more complex and revolving (not to be confused with revolting) kind ~ more fuzzy and, well, rabbit tail like. Also... lets not even get started with the RABID-tails... because, so far, I'm in a good mood today! I suspect the 'trails' and the 'tails' are having a battle this morning... but give it time.

Now, where were we? Oh yes, the glorious holiday 'sleep in's'.... I was settling in for one of those epic morning sleeps. The ones that carry you into a soft, fluffy, dream land that is rarely experience at night (when you are SUPPOSED to sleep!).

Ok, for the record. Just before my morning, epic, fluffy 'lie-ins', I take my med's (Ritalin for adults ADHD ~ and if you question my need for the med's.... some, may just have to question your logic). Med's taken so I wont actually 'fluff' away the WHOLE day, just a half hour or so. So, there I was, dozing into beautiful oblivion. Tasting from the fruits of lazy-dozy. When I was rudely awoken.... and can you guess who/what I was rudely awoken by?!

My crazy, beautiful mind!! The med's have kicked in!!

And now I have arisen with a furious desire for creativity. This

overwhelming,

insatiable,

semi-controllable

desire to write, paint, plan, bake, garden etc etc...

So here I sit, with my hair looking as though it recently experienced a very nasty electric shock, sleep crusting my eyeballs, and a wonderful desire to star in the 'Sound of Music', singing something about hills and being alive etc etc.

And the day begins. With a jolt, as usual. With a wonderful feeling of well being. Praising God for who I am, because if I didn't I may just... not. Adi. Or if you prefer... ADD. That's me. In all my glory! That's me. Rabbit-tails and rabbit tails, and sometimes even RABID tails!

Its me. The mum, of, not one. But TWO gorgeous boys. Both uniquely like me.

Both, uniquely, ADD!

Don't forget your HELMET!

We have just had a wonderfully refreshing swim as a family. Albeit, head knocking, dog yapping and Asthma attacking! Now I feel ready to unleash my pent-up creative-ness ('creative-ness' is ADD for 'more than just regular creativity - lol).

While wandering through the files of my mind last night, I found myself giggling at some of the seriously 'blond' moments I have had.

Now I need to break it to you, up front. I am NOT actually blond. I am a brunette ~ with flashes of red ~ always have been. But there have been moments! And one has to be forgiven for 'moments. Okay?!! And just to show you that I am NOT ASHAMED of my 'moments', I will share one with you...

Now this may be going back a little, but, I do distinctly sitting in the front seat of my Mercedes Benz, on the way to a holiday destination. I (just this time) happened not to be driving. And as we all do from time to time, I was staring at the dashboard. Having a great little convo in my head. Just me and myself. We were discussing the 'issue' of the AIRBAG...

We discussed how it might be a rather silly thing, after all. So I asked 'myself' to try it out by banging my fist against the area in which the afore mentioned bag 'hangs out'.

After a number of unsuccessful attempts and a rather bruised hand. My husband enquired as to my strange behavior. To which I, quite innocently (I can assure you!), stated that it was a "stupid thing, this airbag situation. "I mean, you would have to hit your head pretty damn hard on this dashboard for the airbag to be released, Isn't that a bit pointless?! ~ you would be 'out' before the thing was even activated! STUPID, stooopid IDEA!!"

It was at around this point that my husband ~ apparently in a titch of shock ~ near misses a 'stray' walker minding his own business on the side of the road ~ eventually, after wiping his eyes from the tears, explained the TRUTH behind the airbag system... hummmmmph!

So, in conclusion, if you think the same as I did. Note... DID!! Be assured that the next time you go driving, do wear a helmet!

P.S. For those of you who don't actually know how the airbag is activated... There is a sensor in the front of the vehicle and as soon as it is triggered (i.e. collision/fair bump), the airbag is released. Just FYI.

My Brother Ross ~ in a nutshell

I 'lost' my bro on the 11th July 2006. I dont know how to put it all down/get it out, yet. All I can say is. I loved Ross. Be was my big bro who protected me and we shared a love for music. Before he became ill with rheumatoid arthritis (worst case in someone so young in the history of SA medicine.) He then became addicted to his meds. Then nearly died coming off Morphine cold turkey. Then got a 'staf' bug while in hospital (one of the many times). Then got gang-green. Then got his leg amputated. Then got married... in amoungst, hip and knee replacements. Then went into remission for about 6 months. Then went down hill fast. Miraculously fathered a child (they said it was immpossible coz of all the radiation therapy he had had over the years.) Connor turned 5 in August, 11 days after Ross would have been 39. I watched my brother go through pain that you dont even see in movies. Pain that challenges your belief in God, on a daily bases. Pain that would put him in a coma.. and we would all gather around, say our 'good-byes', mourn for him. And 12 hours later he would wake up and ask for PIZZA!!! On the evening he died, (we lived next door to eachother), his wife called over the fence to come quickly. My sister and her husband had arrived back from an overseas trip that morning. They pulled into the driveway directly behind my folks, who were there for their daily visit. And he died, 20 mins later. While we all stood around his bed.That evening was the most spectacular full moon Cape Town has ever seen. From the front door of our houses, it rose, deep orange/red, over False Bay. It began its accent, almost to the minute, he passed away.
... and the name of the trust fund, for Ross's son, Connor, which was set up a year prior, is called....Copper Moon Rising!